sh*t people believe

the other day i poked a bit of fun at some folks who believe in a cargo cult, and then i got concerned that ya’ll might think i go around making fun of people who are — let’s admit it — not very bright. i want you to know that nothing could be futher from the truth. i laugh at EVERYbody! all of us. as far as i can tell, humans will believe anything.

A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G.

by way of example, here is a short list of things that people believe — and this is just the tip of the tip of the iceberg:

– that the world was created in seven days
– that a bird created everything
– that a chicken created the land
– that a wagtail created the land
– that the world was created from birds’ eggs
– that humans are made of corn
– that humans are descended from bears
– that the earth sits upon a big tree
– that the earth sits upon the back of a big turtle
– that the earth is flat
– that the earth is the center of the universe
– that the sun is the center of the universe
– that they are the center of the universe
– that magic is real
– that some people are magical
– that the parts of some dead animals are magical
– that the parts of some dead people are magical
– that some smelly socks are magical
– that some woman gave birth to a child without having sex
– that another guy was conceived in a highly unusual way, too
– that a really old lady gave birth to a child
– that one guy was born an old man
– that you can get pregnant from a bunch of feathers
– that you can get prenant from a swan
– that a piece of bread can turn into the flesh of a man-god
– that there is a man-god
– that there is a god
– that there are many gods
– that there definitely isn’t a god
– that you can persuade people who believe in god to believe that there isn’t one
– that they’re definitely not brains in vats
– that there is life after death
– that dead people will need their things in the next life
– that dead people will need money in the next life (and that you can send it to them)
– that they’ll come back to haunt you if you don’t
– that there are many lives after death (gonna need a lot of cash)
– that little green men are drawing pretty pictures in fields
– that the little green men were invading on october 30, 1938
– that the world is gonna end this year (omg!)
– that the world is gonna end in 2060 (whew!)
– that the world is gonna end in 2240. or 2280. or 3797. (whatever.)
– that some people born in certain years are bad luck
– that certain days are bad luck
– that certain numbers are bad luck
– that certain animals are bad luck (or maybe good luck)
– that certain actions are bad luck
– that you can predict future events from the most mundane things
– that they are rational
– that they aren’t biased
– that they perform better than most
– that they are at all honest with themselves
– that fiat currency has intrinsic value
– that iq isn’t important
– that gender doesn’t make a difference

– that all people everywhere are fundamentally the same in almost every way

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