“the argentines, the portuguese and the greeks”

a little ditty sung by edward meeker. recorded in 1922.

Columbus discovered America
in Fourteen Ninety-Two.
Then came the English and the Dutch,
The Frenchman and the Jew.
Then came the Swede and the Irish-man,
To help our country grow;
Still they keep on comin’
And now everywhere you go!

There’s the Argentines
And the Portuguese;
The Armenians,
And the Greeks!
One sells you paper,
One shines your shoes;
The other shaves the whiskers off your cheek.
When you ride again,
In a subway train,
Notice who has all the seats!
And you’ll find that they’re held
By the Argentines,
And the Portuguese
And the Greeks!

I am in love
With the sweetest girl;
The sweetest girl
Loves me!
Though she’s sweet
And hard-to-beat,
Our ideas don’t agree.
I love to dine in the swell cafe;
Terrapin and wine
My girl has a different craze,
And she just loves to dine

With the Argentines,
And the Portuguese;
The Armenians,
And the Greeks.
She loves to rally,
Down among the garlic
And her breath will knock you over
When she speaks!

But the fate I dread,
Is the year we’re wed,
And our child has aged three weeks!
It will look just like
All the Argentines,
And the Portuguese
And the Greeks!

There’s the Hupmobile,
And the Oldsmobile;
The Ca-dill-ac and Ford.
They are the mo-tors
You and I can own;
The kind that everybody
Can afford.

But the Cunningham,
And the Mercedes
And the Rolls-Royce Racing Prix
Ah, they are owned
By the Argentines,
And the Portuguese
And the Greeks!

They don’t know the language,
They don’t know the law
But they vote in the country of the free!
But the funny thing
When we start to sing
“My Country ‘Tis of Thee”
None of us know the words
But the Argentines,
And the Portuguese
And the Greeks!

They all love their liquor,
They don’t give a nickel for
The stuff that runs in rivers
Brooks and creeks!
But there’ll come a day
When they sail away
From this land where laws are freaks
And we’ll all be aboard with
The Argentines,
And the Portuguese
And the Greeks!

There’s a little flat
Where you hang your hat
As myst’try I’ll explain:
The janitor is Irish,
The hall-boy is a Pole
And the elevator fellow is a Dane.
But who is the gent?
Who collects the rent?
At the end of each four weeks?
Ah, that is all done
By the Argentines,
And the Portuguese
And the Greeks!

(~_^)

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